Coffee, Tea, or ..........

Filling Up The Bottle

Last year, during the summer, the kids and I went on a trip to Las Vegas for a visit. We lived there for over 15 years, and having moved recently to Southern Cali, we were feeling a bit homesick and wanted to see our friends again. I knew the traffic would be heavy, as always is the case around LA, so I chose a Friday afternoon before rush hour for use to get on the road and head out. We drove out to I-210, singing to Rob Thomas' new CD at the top of our lungs. We didn't even get out of Pasadena when I knew we were in deep deep doo-doo. The traffic was not just heavy, it was gridlocked. We moved about 2 - 5 miles per hour, we couldn't even get over to the carpool lane, which was going really fast - about 8 - 10 miles per hour. We should have turned around to go back home, but that was almost impossible too, and I knew that ANY MINUTE the traffic would let up and we would be outta there. But it didn't and we weren't. An hour later we were not even to Arcadia. We were in the inside lane and still moving only barely. This was the time my son announced his plans for the day. "I have to PEE!" Yep - a nightmare in any situation where toilets are nowhere in sight. And the intensity of his announcement told me I had no leeway time. "I really gotta go BAAAAD!" It was impossible to change lanes in order to get to an exit, you have to move to change lanes right? And we were not. So I wracked my brains (no smart aleck remarks here) and did what I knew was our only possibility. "I can't HOLD IT ANY MORE!" I knew quick action on my part, and cooperation on the part of my kids, was paramount. And NO, I was not going to have him get out and go - although we WERE all but parked. So I did the next best thing.

"L!! Roll down your window and pour your water out of the water bottle."

"Why???" was the typical teenager response.

"I want you to dump out the water so H can go potty in the bottle!"

Not even a millisecond passed before she yelled "EWWWWWWW! NO WAY! OOOH GROSS!!"

"I gotta go - gotta go - gotta GOOOO!"

"Dammit L! Dump out the water and give your brother the bottle so he doesn't pee all over the car!"

There was more mumbling and complaining but she finally opened the window and dumped the contents of the bottle onto the freeway. She threw the bottle at her brother as I was yelling to him to unzip and go. And then began the longest 3 minutes of the entire trip, sitting in an immobile truck, listening to the sound of..........well, you know. When he finished, I told his sister to grab the bottle "EWWWWW!" and screw the lid on tight and put it somewhere out of sight. We girls in the truck were completely grossed out, little brother, now feeling great, was back to playing his Game Boy. All I could think is how thankful I was that it was a boy, not the girls, in such a bind.

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Drinking My Propel

One time last autumn, I was working on the computer and I happened to look up and see H. walking from his room over to the kitchen with a bottle in his hand. He opened the fridge door and stuck the drink inside, closed the door and went back to play in his room. i remember thinking "that little stinker is drinking one of my Propels". I love Propel, but it isn't cheap, and when given the opportunity, the kids will drink it like water and then soon, it is all gone. So the Propel is for the grown-ups, unless they ask for permission to have one. This is a great rule and a great theory, but it's not the way it works very often.

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Filling Up The Bottle AND Drinking The Propel

The kids and I had gone shopping to Target last fall. While in the store, my phone rang and I answered the phone call and heard an angry sounding voice on the other side. I couldn't really make out what was being said, but I knew it was daddy on the other side. It was really hard understanding him, but what I could catch sounded like.........

"H.......BOTTLE!....DRINK!!.......PROPEL!!!.....PEE'D!!.....*&^+#$%@*&!!!"

My mind went back to the Propel bottle H. had carried and set inside the fridge. I turned to my son and began to ask "H, did you........." and my voice trailed off as I had to grab hold onto the cart because I was laughing so hard. I think I called every one of my friends and family members to share the story that week.